Well that's that then.

It seems its time to move on, so today that's what I have done. I said my piece in the PPP committee thread and told them it would be unfair to ban me with what I said, and it only being said on Skype and not on the forum, I also stated that if they want to go down that road, that I want to make a formal complaint over other members of the committee, but said I didn't want to do that, and that I would ban myself for a year. It remains to be seen if I get booted or not, but meh I'm moving on. I made an appointment at the GP for Friday 1st march @ 7-50am, yes that's correct am.... I need to explain about my really swingy mood swings and wanting to kill everybody I speak to. But I don't know what's on offer. A counsellor is going to be ages away and I will be limited to prob just 6 sessions, and nothing like the 18 months I had with chris Dunn. I guess they could alter my medication as well. But I'm going to be straight with them and see what happens. I set up another Skype account up today so I don't have to keep signing into the old account and that ways don't have to looking at the people from PPP on there. I have also deleted the forum from my favourites and I will not bother going on now until my birthday next year. I have just added my mate Los and organic rakeback who are my poker company I use for my rakeback deals on various sites I play at. My brother rung tonight, John who lives in the house where he and mum lived before she died. He likes living there and I try and get up to support him whenever I can, but he phoned tonight and seemed very nervous like. Kept asking when I was coming up next, and I got it out of him that someone had come to the house and phoned and it seems to have rattled him. So I need to get up there ASAP so it's going to be Sunday night now. I plan on coming back the Thursday night, so I make the GP appointment the following day. That way, I'm there for him while my other brother is on the late shift, and I can sort this problem with people knocking on the door and how to handle it. He's special needs but since mum died he's come on leaps and bounds and I am very proud of what he's accomplished in the short time mum has died. I did play some poker today, and I played on Ipoker at the rush tables but for Ipoker, can't recall what they call it on Ipoker. I played two sessions, one in the early afternoon and dropped two buy ins, and played the other session in the early evening and made it back and ended up half a buy in up. But with the rakeback deal I have anything above break even and above is good. I actually played on the 6 max tables today. I hate it but I want to try my hand at it all now, and the most action is always 6 max. Playing full ring is hard to find tables so I want to get use to the smaller tables. No phoned today as well from work which was nice, cos I am so depressed when she isn't around, and to hear her voice was a real boost for me. Ok it didn't last too long, but broke the day up. I hate being on my own, my depression is at its worse, but I can't do anything about it. We also did a bit of filing tonight. I want to try and get my suit in order, so sorted the bank stuff out tonight, and tomorrow it's the turn of the car stuff. Little bits everyday Jo is always telling me...... I love her so much xx so I will of course miss her when I have to go up north again on Sunday. But the more I get done up there means I don't have to visit quite as often, so in the long run it will be good. And come summer and warmer weather, me and Jo can have the walks we use to have last year. Overall it's been a hard day. I have made the decision that my operation needs to be put back like the doctor suggested at the time, my head is just there and I can see why he wanted me to wait, so I'm gutted yes of course, but in the long run I want it to work, and if that means waiting till my head and shit are together well so be it, I'll wait then.